Houston, we have a problem.

I think I have an eating disorder. How do I know? Well, let me just tell you - I cannot. Stop. Eating.

This isn't really a new development, but I do a lot more sitting around than I usually do so I guess it's just a lot more noticeable. In fact, I do so much sitting around that my butt has really started to hurt and my left hip has become unusually sore from leaning over the arm of the couch to be on my computer which sits on the end table. But not only is my butt feeling sore, I'm pretty sure it's getting bigger.

It really is a problem. A big one. (No pun intended.)

So after much contemplation, here's my top eleven (ten just didn't cover it) on how you (aka, me) know you have an eating disorder:

11.) When you're not sitting on your bum on the couch, you're in the kitchen scrounging around for something to eat. With not a lot of anything else in between.

10.) You eat three bowls of cereal for breakfast and then sit there contemplating having another.

9.) You have a Twix and a glass of Sprite mixed with peach juice (yum) twenty minutes after your fourth-bowl-contemplation.

8.) 10:30 rolls around and you wonder if it's lunch time yet.

7.) When it finally is time for lunch, it consists of half a peanut butter and honey sandwich, half a bag (full size) of potato chips, two glasses of really thick strawberry-banana juice, a chicken tamale with sour cream and salsa (because the sandwich, chips, and juice just wasn't enough), a fruit roll-up, and three Twizzlers (because you need something sweet to wash down the savory).

6.) You justify everything you eat.

5.) You eat so much rice and stir-fry for dinner that you feel like you are going to blow up (which could partly be blamed on the pre-dinner Sun Chip snacking you did) and then you empty the rest of the rice into a cereal bowl, pour some cinnamon, sugar, and milk on it and help yourself to a second little dinner.

4.) You have a secret stash of Jolly Rancher lollipops, Dolci chocolate, and Haribo coca-cola gummies (not to be specific or anything) in the drawer next to your bed that you eat when no one is looking.

3.) You tell everyone how exciting it will be to have American food again when in reality you can get all the American food you want at the Embassy Commissary. In fact, you consume more sugary American goodness than you ever do living in the states.

2.) You eat a handful of chocolate chips and then take a bite of a Nutter-Butter and enjoy way too much the taste of them together and chew extra slow as to not miss a single moment of the sweet union you've just created in your mouth...

and

1.) The Wii takes it upon itself to add visual weight to your Mii character by adding a few inches to the waistline and making the tiny little t-shirt bulge a little, exposing a bit of pudgy tummy skin.

Hopefully I'm recognizable when Averi comes to get me at the airport in a couple months- what with my increased BMI and brunette hair, it might be kind of difficult.